Post by Admin on Jun 30, 2024 6:11:58 GMT
It feels like my skin jumped off my body and went to somebody else. It feels like my uterus literally ran out of my body and never came back. I have a woman body that knows it baby walked out the door and said it would be right back and that body is still waiting for that baby to come back through the door two years later, no she’s not dead. No, she’s not held prisoner. No, I’ve never put my hands on her or tried to intentionally disrespect her. I’ve never left her by herself to do my own thing. I never put my own needs before her, even as an addict the worst of my life she was still number one, and I still made sure she had everything she needed until the day that she looked at me in my face And said I wasn’t allowed to tell her what to do and that she deserved a mama and daddy they could take her on vacation and almost 16 years old three months after being with the family that she’s never even known before I’ve got papers for child support requests 15 almost 16 years without a dime and three months after my child walked out of my door she’s taking me to court for my money? Can you even call that pain? I mean definitely a dump but pain doesn’t justify this feeling. I feel more like a mean girl episode then her mom. I feel like her and her friends teamed up on me and showed me how not good enough I was and how much better she was than me. That’s how I feel about it. I feel like I did all the work and made her this big tough strong individual that think she’s better than the woman that made her so strong. I feel like I didn’t get the first bit of parenting when I was a child and I didn’t get to go shopping and to waterpark and I didn’t get to have my friends over and my mom didn’t buy pizza and lunch for the class and didn’t deliver my lunch weekly daily almost and I still loved my mother and I begged my mother to love me and I still didn’t use I acted in way that wasn’t right, but that’s because I didn’t know how to express myself correctly. It’s not because I wanted to hurt somebody intentionally it’s not like I was a child. My mom is videos of her falling apart and crying and dying because I walked out of her door and never went back and I liked him, but I can’t pick up the phone and call her like that’s some sick shit.